This article is based on the writings and words of Glenn Beck. Frighteningly, many of the language used in this column is pulled directly from his quotes (just sub “Obama” for “Twilight” and you’ve got his latest rant!).

So once again: Please stay calm, Twilight-fans. Fox News fans, however, are allowed to be pissed.

Common Sense About ‘Twlight’

Transcript from the Tyler Wilson Show. Copyright News Corp 2009.

Wake up, America!!!

I know we’re dealing with many problems right now. War, economic strife and the return of Marxism are all very troubling, but set aside those worries for now. Let’s address the true evil penetrating the hearts of our children, as well as the mainstream media.

We, as the Silent Majority, must stand up and fight “Twilight.”

Stick with me, friends. The “Twilight” franchise is an assault on America and the freedoms we hold so dear. If we continue to blindly idolize this Anointed superpower, our Constitution could soon be on the path to total destruction.

Now I’m not an alarmist. You might think the “Twilight” books by Stephenie Meyer are just gooey goodness about vampires, teen lust and repressed werewolves, but read between the lines, folks. Paragraphs are riddled with words intended to DISTRACT you from its true message. Cross out the words “dazzling” and “sparkle” and the real message is clear:

SOCIALISM.

Just look at how the mainstream media goes bonkers for all things “Twilight.” This week, Entertainment Weekly ran yet another cover story about the stars of the film franchise.

Everywhere these media mongers are asking us whether we’re members of Team Edward or Team Jacob, but this is no left or right issue. I count myself as a member of Team America, and I will always choose the side of our Founding Fathers. They gave their lives so we could choose which mediocre young adult book series to idolize.

“Twilight” apologists will say the series is somehow good for America. “A change we were all hoping for!” “Our economy is so much better because of ‘Twilight’ stimulus!”

Call me paranoid, but I don’t trust it. Teenage girls, soccer moms and pinko Marxists may be entranced by the power of Edward Cullen, but I think for myself.

The mainstream media makes it seem like the first “Twilight” movie was the greatest thing to happen to America ever. Did “Titanic” slip our minds? “Twilight” made $190 million at the domestic box office, making it only the SEVENTH biggest money maker in 2008. So where was the “fair,” “unbiased” media when Will Smith wanted a “Hancock” DVD release party?

Cracking jokes about the Palin daughters, that’s where.

Folks, I don’t mean to get emotional, but sometimes it gets to be too much. I love this country, and I can’t stand it when the media ignores a blatant assault on our national entertainment.

I’m an addict, so you know I’m telling it to you straight and from the heart.

Today, call your local newspaper and demand a front page story about some other vampire book series. If they refuse, cancel your subscription. Tell them to keep Socialism where it belongs– oceans away from our glorious nation.

(pause for dramatic tears)

Follow me, dear listeners. Celebrate democracy and go see “The Blind Side” this weekend. Approach those in line for “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” and ask them why they hate America.